As children, we all have hopes and dreams. Some of us follow our dreams, others don’t, and some find other dreams to chase.
At times it is incredibly hard to stick with your dreams for many different reasons: personal, logistics or financial.
I’m one of those people who stick with dreams and tries her best to follow through, one way or another. However, at the same time, I’m like everyone else, and I get distracted at times. I get pulled in many different directions that have nothing to do with what I consider my deepest desires.
On the other hand, I’m also very stubborn when it comes to following my dreams and my deepest desires. I can’t seem to be able to give up even though in my mind and my eyes I have not reached the place I would like to be in when it comes to my working life (my private life is perfect).
My working life consists of constant learning, growing and trying to find out who I truly am and what my voice is as a writer and filmmaker. I don’t want to create content just for the sake of creating content; I want my content to have a meaning, and I do have a strong inclination towards education and family content at the moment.
But sometimes it’s tough to stick with an idea or concept and to stay in one place while waiting for an idea to come to fruition when so many people around you seem to be so much more ahead of you.
I understand that the endless doubtful and self-depriving chatter is a part of the job and sometimes goes on and on while other times it disappears altogether. In all honesty, I tried to give up several times but each time I was pulled in the opposite direction I became anxious, depressed and angry. I couldn’t focus on the simplest of tasks, and my confusion reached extraordinarily high levels clouding my everyday judgment, not to mention decision making part of my brain.
What I know is that I’m still not where I want to be in my working life, but I also know that, regardless of my progress (that includes critical and peer recognition and of course financial advantages), I can’t give up and change my dreams all of a sudden. My desire and determination are too strong to be pushed aside to make way for the unknown. Many times I cried over that imagining that I should have been a doctor or a scientist, but God didn’t give me that skills. Instead, I got an aplenty imagination, images and words to create my own, unique worlds.